Funny and sarcastic one liners of Technology
But if, perchance, we ever do, Then here's to me, and to hell with you." "Let's raise our glasses to the two secrets of a long-lasting marriage: a good sense of humor and a short memory." "May ...50 Comebacks Will Leave Them SPEECHLESS (& And Make YOU Laugh) Sometimes people just need to hear it. Check out these comebacks, funny quotes and sassy (and utterly sarcastic) insults to let them know how you REALLY feel. ggrant._.ggustin. 25 funniest one-liners to make you smile. Here are some funny one-liners that all me smile.When it comes to brightening up someone’s day or breaking the ice in social situations, a funny joke can work wonders. The internet is a treasure trove of jokes waiting to be disco...Famous sarcastic sayings for hilarious remarks. They say if you can cleverly blend sarcasm with some humour, then you are intelligent. Using funny, sarcastic sayings is a perfect way of stating your thoughts funnily and less harshly. Here are sarcastic one-liners to get you started: People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day ...13. Short Retirement Quotes. Here are quotes that are short and sweet—ideal for texting and eliciting a chuckle or two from your retired friend or family member. "Retirement: Enjoy every day.". "Retirement is not the end, it's a new beginning.". "The best is yet to come.". "Life begins at retirement.".U should of saw her face as I drove pasta. One liner tags: car, family, food, travel. 79.69 % / 495 votes. I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations that I've traveled to. But first, I'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won't fall down. One liner tags: life, travel.Some of Chandler's best one-liners were the ones that weren't on-the-nose, like this gem from season two episode "The One Where Ross and Rachel…. You Know". In this scene, the group is hanging out at Joey and Chandler's and Ross is on the phone with someone from the museum. He starts discussing some display saying that ...Funny Goodbye Quotes for Friends. "Don't be a stranger, unless you're bringing pizza.". "Saying goodbye is like a little death without the commitment of a coffin.". "Farewell, my friend. May your Wi-Fi be strong, and your toilet paper roll forever full.". "Remember, I'm just a phone call away. 1-800-BAIL-ME-OUT.".Murphy's Laws. Murphy's Laws are a universal set of sarcastic quotes about life, born out of collective wisdom! " If anything can go wrong, it will. " - Murphy's Laws. " Enough research will tend to support whatever theory. " - Murphy's Laws. " Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.Witty One Liners about Men. "You can't belay a man who's falling in love." ~ Edward Abbey. "An empty man is full of himself.". "A man is a person who will pay two dollars for a one dollar item he wants. A woman will pay one dollar for a two dollar item she doesn't want." ~ William Binger. "The male is a domestic animal who ...The Fast Saga has seen enough changes in its style that the series has seemed a little all over the place. However, even before and after the movies shifted focus from racing to action, there were a lot of funny moments to watch. Overall, almost every character has had at least one instance where they were able to make the audience laugh, and these were done in such a way that these quotes ...Absolutely hillarious flirty one-liners! The largest collection of flirty one-line jokes in the world. All sorted from the best by our visitors. See TOP 10 flirty one liners. Page 10.We have rounded up some of the best collections of funny one-liners on life, funny quotes, hilarious captions, and sarcastic status messages and jokes. Here are some one-liners about life that will surely get a smile on your face. Don't take life too seriously. Just laugh. That's the perfect counterbalance to life. Also See: Funny Words of ...Being chosen as a bridesmaid is an honor that comes with great responsibility. Not only do you get to stand beside your best friend on her special day, but you also have the opport...I bet you a tenner we'd have a great date. I had a great opening line ready, but you're so hot I've forgotten it. I'm using my last 2% battery to send you this message. If that's not ...Puns And One Liners. Check our Twitter and Facebook feeds for a joke on the hour every hour… Menu Close Indexes; 2023; 2022; 2021; 2020; 2019; 2018; 2017; 2016; 2015; 2014; 2013; Economy Jokes How many economists does it take to change a light bulb? None, if it was broken, the market would fix it.Remember to use the different funny goodbye email subject lines, such as puns and wordplay, references to pop culture, self-deprecating humor, clever word combinations, and one-liners and jokes, to add a personal touch to your email. To wrap up, I encourage you to try out one of my list's 91+ funny goodbye email subject lines.Sarcasm about Life. Not a shred of evidence existsin favor of the idea that life is serious.~ Brendan Gill. ♦ Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside. ♦ I’ve decided that perhaps I’m bulimic and just keep forgetting to purge. ♦ You take my life when you do take the means whereby I live.From hilarious one-liners to sarcastic remarks, clever gambling puns to laugh-out-loud moments, the wit and humor that emanate from Sin City are truly entertaining. So, sit back, relax, and get ready to have a good laugh with these amusing Las Vegas jokes, comical casino sayings, and sardonic Vegas punchlines. Hilarious One-Liners. One-liners ...share. When The Hulk goes off into a vicious rage and destroys everything, he's "Incredible." But when I do it, I'm "an alcoholic." One liner tags: alcohol, life. 47.70 % / 3431 votes. share. I thought it was my birthday cake but it was just the shed on fire. One liner tags: birthday, food, puns, sarcastic. 47.63 % / 126 votes.Best Old Age One-Liners for Birthday Cards. Short and sweet one-liners to poke fun at your favorite old fart. 1. Birthdays aren't as fun when you're older, but fortunately you don't have many more to go. 2. You're so old, I heard your social security number is 3. 3. You know you're old when the candles cost more than the cake. 4.Are you in need of a good laugh? Look no further. We have compiled a list of the top funny quotes and sayings that are guaranteed to tickle your funny bone. Laughter is truly the b...1. "I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it." — Bill Gates. 2. "No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early." — Groucho ...Then I realized they can handle it themselves. An elderly man goes to the doctor, "It hurts to stand up in the morning." -. The doctor shrugs, "Then don't stand up in the morning." I meet so many assholes at work, it's ridiculous.". -. Stephen, 44, Proctologist. More funny quote jokes.These one-liners are bark-out-loud funny! If there's one thing we can all come together and agree upon, it is this: Dogs are the best. They're cuddly, loyal, friendly, and oh so cute — and ...You’re like a fine piece of cheese – the older you get, the more you smell, but people still love you. Happy birthday! Don’t worry, [insert age] isn’t so bad. It’s just a little closer to [insert age plus 20]. Happy birthday! You’re like a classic book – everyone still loves you, even if you’re a little outdated.The person answers, and it's their mum saying "I have a computer question." One liner tags: communication, family, IT, sarcastic. 81.26 % / 473 votes. Told my wife I wanted our kids every other weekend and she reminded me that we're married and live together so I'd have to see them every day. One liner tags: family, kids, sarcastic, time.Find funny puns, corny one-liners and bad-but-good jokes that even Dad would approve of. Stock up on silly dad jokes and corny puns with these hilarious one-liners. IE 11 is not supported.60 is just the numeric equivalent for aging well. 60 means being carefree… just a little more forgetful. You can't regret what you can't remember. 60 is beauty. Vintage beauty. 60 means embracing the good life. And more naps. Turning 60 is just a new chapter in a long book.May 22, 2024 · 200 Sarcastic Quotes. 1. “When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.”. 2. “I’m not saying I hate you, what I’m saying is that you are ...5. ADVERTISEMENT. We love our dads endlessly. Dads have certain behavior stereotypes, like how they act at the airport, while watching football, or teaching us to drive. Though a very precious one is dad jokes. Do not confuse them with regular jokes, as dad jokes fall into a completely different category. They are often in the wrong place at ...Victory Liner is one of the most trusted and popular bus companies in the Philippines, known for its reliable and comfortable transportation services. With the advancement of techn...Donald Trump believes that to err is human, but blaming it on somebody else is a management skill. Donald Trump believes that power corrupts, but absolute power is pretty neat. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes Donald Trump easier to live with. Donald Trump calls PMS "mad cow disease".From witty one-liners to cute illustrations, there are endless options to choose from when it comes to funny baby onesies. Many parents opt for funny baby onesies as a way to express their own sense of humor and style, while also giving their little ones a chance to stand out. These outfits can be a great conversation starter, making it easy ...Yesterday, I fell down from a 10 meter ladder. Thank God I was on the third step. One liner tags: sarcastic. 79.35 % / 233 votes. A tree house is the biggest insult to a tree. "Here, I killed your friend. Hold him." One liner tags: death, friendship, life, …Funny Quotes about Vacation. Work hard. Travel harder. I need a holiday. And by "holiday" I mean I need to move away and find a job. On the beach. With cocktails. The temptation to go to the airport, buy a one-way ticket, leave the country and live on my own has never been so real. Ladies, imagine this. It's 15 years from now, and you ...MISC. Sarcastic One Liners - Sarcastic Jokes. A small collection of the most funniest and sarcastic one liners on the web. Read it - enjoy it - share it. Whoever told you to be …3. “Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.”. – Winston Churchill. 4. “Don’t stay in bed unless you can make money in bed.”. – George Burns. 5. “Budget – a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions.”.Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming. One liner tags: animal, health, rude. 94.46 % / 1667 votes. Ham and Eggs: A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig. One liner tags: animal. 94.46 % / 1785 votes. It's funny, when I walk into a spider web I demolish his home and misplace his dinner yet I still feel like the ...share. They used to time me with a stopwatch... now they use a calendar. One liner tags: sarcastic, sport, time. 94.36 % / 1696 votes. share. Anger; the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind. One liner …Sarcastic one liners. You're not yourself today. It's nice. Your argument is sound, just sound, lots of sound. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant. I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you. Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others, whenever they go. ~Oscar Wilde. Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.Sarcastic one liners. People are making end of the world jokes. Like there is no tomorrow. One liner tags: attitude, people, sarcastic. 81.07 % / 386 votes. Told my wife I wanted our kids every other weekend and she reminded me that we're married and live together so I'd have to see them every day. One liner tags: family, kids, sarcastic, time.May 21, 2024 · We have rounded up some of the best collections of funny one-liners on life, funny quotes, hilarious captions, and sarcastic status messages and jokes. Here are some one-liners about life that will surely get a smile on your face. Don’t take life too seriously. Just laugh. That’s the perfect counterbalance to life. Also See: Funny Words of ...Here are some hilarious one-liners that poke fun at the golden years: "I'm not old, I'm vintage!". "Age is just a number, but mine is unlisted.". "I'm at the age where my back goes out more than I do.". "They say laughter is the best medicine, so I guess that makes me a pharmacist.". "I thought getting older would take ... Funny One Liners | Sarcastic Quotes. Your one stop locatio55. Life is about balance. 50% namaste. 50% These funny kid-friendly jokes will make your famil
